RE: Erika and Charlie Kirk Fairy Tale: "Have More Children Than You Can Afford" and "Leave the Finances to Your Husband"
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I'm sorry your family had to struggle that much when you were growing up. I can't even imagine how tough that would be. I agree with your assessment of influencers—who often live in a bubble of wealth and privilege—trying to convince others to take huge risks like bringing life into the world without having the means to take care of it. Even those who grow up poor sometimes seem to forget what poverty is really like once they find a way to escape it. Also, just because they found success did doesn't mean everyone is capable of turning their lives around to that degree.
My Dad grew up in the kind of poverty you did. But we were what would be considered lower middle class growing up—my Dad was always there and he provided us with the basic necessities (and sometimes a little more). Still there's a certain mindset you have to find a way to grow out of. It's a mindset of "not being good enough" or "not belonging" that has to be overcome. People born into wealth and privilege don't have that barrier and can't understand what an advantage that is in life. It's difficult to think about anything other than your basic needs when satisfying those needs aren't a given. When I first found success I felt totally out of my element in certain situations. It took a long, long while to build that confidence. Sometimes I still have nightmares of losing everything and having to start from scratch again.
We're watching Call The Midwife now on Netflix and, although it's fiction much of it is closely based on facts. The poverty on the east end of London was horrendous from the Industrial Revolution all the way to the late 1950's. It really got me thinking about all this.
It's a kind of perverse gift, this sense of insecurity. I makes me ferocious in protecting what I have, including my children and it also gives me a profound empathy. I see that in each of my siblings. Maybe it's because of my mother, who always found the time and resources to help someone else. But I also think it's because we know what it's like to not belong, as you say. To be the outsider.
Thank you for sharing your father's past, and yours. I was surprised when I grew up and became middle class that so many people had histories of challenge, like mine. Life is hard.
I'll have to catch, Call the Midwife. Most of us forget how recent abysmal and widespread poverty was. Industrial Revolution was a time of change when a few people became very wealthy and vast numbers of people had nothing. We are facing another period of profound social/economic change and I think the fear is that we may be faced with a like stage of stark and cruel inequity.
You're welcome! It really is in some ways, isn't it? It's made me very careful with my nest egg. I don't take as many risks now as I did when I was building my career. It's funny you say that about empathy because I always amazed me how generous my Dad and most of his relatives were. Dad was always the one to pull over and help someone change a blown out tire or push their car if they stalled in traffic. I experienced this time and time again throughout my life and my travels—usually the poorest people are the most generous. We've really enjoyed Call The Midwife throughout the last ten or so months. I'll really miss it when it's done. Apparently they're working on a prequel now set in WW2 era London. Thanks for this post!