RE: Erika and Charlie Kirk Fairy Tale: "Have More Children Than You Can Afford" and "Leave the Finances to Your Husband"
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I connected with this on so many different levels though the details are different but it shaped me with a mindset that "we will never be poor again". Somewhere along the way, my adoptive parents went bankrupt and we had the most terrible lives. It was like a free dive into the unknown and even right now, I am paying the price of it.
In another part of my life, one of my brothers is in that situation, he has children more than he can afford. He knows that he's still struggling but continuously making babies hoping our mother would pay for it. He lives off teacher's paycheck which is relatively small over here. He's somewhat deadbeat too, like I don't get it when he has master degree but doesn't put it to a good use. Instead, he relies on our mother for almost everything. My mother is old enough that I don't think in 10 years she'll continue to work, so what then afterwards? He's probably going to sell-off all the inheritance and his children will grow up in poverty.
From my experiences, I learned that I don't think a man should solely manage the finances. This is why I want to help women to be more aware about various investments instruments that aren't only gold/silvers. Typically wives where I am from, they collect gold and hoard it. But there are many ways these days to grow the money even from home.
Hanging out with socialites wives taught me one thing, they have their ways too in order to secure their money. For them, bags are investment, they own some vested stocks in real companies like banking/mining industry. They also invest in businesses and trade currencies. If a woman is financially educated, she can be a steward of the money and even grows that through different ways that can be done from home. For all I know too, some of those wives despite the appearances, they can be very vulnerable as their husbands could leave them for someone younger. And they know not to leave the finances fully to their husband.
It is upsetting to read about your brother's children. It is the children who will bear the legacy of his irresponsibility.
We don't have a lot of pictures of us as children, because we didn't have a camera. However, in every picture we have, my older sister looks angry, or about to cry. She told me years later she used to wonder why someone didn't do something about the chaos. Today she is a kind, but very angry person. Religion is her refuge and her guide, but she takes from that only the harsh, punitive messages. She stands in judgement of so many people.
You have mentioned in previous blogs that you were handling financial difficulties you were trying to dig your way out of. I hesitated to share this blog, to post that horrible picture of my kitchen. It's embarrassing. But I don't think those of us who were children in difficult circumstances need to be embarrassed. It's good for us to be open. Secrets are heavy things to carry. If you read jayna's comment above you will see that she also is open about financial difficulties from her childhood.
I think when we tell our stories we shed the burden of the secrets. It's taking a risk. I feel I have taken a risk by being so open about my past, but when I read your response and jayna's I feel I've done the right thing.
Thank you very much for sharing with me your experience. It's much appreciated.