Boycotting the Bakery: My War on Our Local Trade Deficit

I’m putting the locals on notice. I’ve had it. For years, I’ve poured my hard-earned cash into this town, propping up every mom-and-pop shop, and what do I get in return? Nada. Zilch. A big fat nothing.

My wife and I tried to tally up how much bread we’ve bought from the local bakery. It’s a charming spot—clean, friendly, with killer pan de yucas. We love going there. But now I see the truth: they’ve been fleecing us. Unfairly. Shamelessly.

How much have they bought from us, huh? I saw the bakery owner Gerson today, and it took everything not to march up and give him a piece of my mind. The guy’s never bought a single guitar from me. Not one! Five years in this town, and he owns zero of my instruments. This changes now.

But the bakery’s small potatoes compared to the veggie store. They’re the worst. I’ve bought entire jungles from them at this point. Mountains of fruit. Just today, I grabbed ten bananas. But have they ever bought one of my wife’s paintings? Nope. Not a single one. They’re guilty as sin, taking advantage of us like we’re some kind of produce ATM.

The more I think about our trade deficit with this town, the madder I get. Things need to change, and fast.

I’m designing a flyer to lay down the law. I’ll slap it on every storefront so they know I mean business. I'm not messing around.

For too long, these businesses have exploited us expats. They sell us stuff at whatever price they feel like, while buying nothing from us. It’s unsustainable, and starting next week, we’re boycotting every shop until they start buying guitars from me and paintings from my wife.

We’re fixing this trade deficit and restoring our household’s dignity. If they don’t meet our demands, we’ll escalate. We’ll block the main road and charge a hefty toll to pass. That’ll hit ‘em where it hurts. They won’t be able to drive around, scamming us, without paying up.

It’s time to balance the scales and fix our trade deficit once and for all.

MenO