BREAKING: Socialism 2.0 — Now With Better Branding and Free Stuff (Until You Pay for It)

So let me get this straight…
We’ve got Zohran Mamdani and Omar Fateh — both proud Democratic Socialists — winning primaries like it's trendy now. Gavin Newsom’s just waiting in the wings, hair gel locked and loaded, ready to bring California’s magic to the entire country in 2028. You know, California, where:
• Businesses flee,
• The middle class evaporates,
• And your rent is higher than your IQ if you voted for this mess twice.
But hey, it’s all good — just slap the label “Democratic Socialist” on it and suddenly it’s not Marxism… it’s “progressive.” They rebranded socialism like it's a new energy drink. It’s not socialism! It’s socialism light™ — less freedom, same economic collapse!
And don’t worry — AOC and the Squad are here to keep things spicy. Free everything. DEI hires. Defund the police. No borders. Let everyone in. Because apparently, borders are “racist,” but fences around D.C. and gated communities are “safety.”
Let’s not forget the open-border fantasy. You and I need ID to buy Sudafed, but someone can cross illegally, get a hotel room, a lawyer, and possibly a flight — all on your dime. Meanwhile, you’re checking gas prices like it’s the stock market.
And now business owners — actual wealth creators — are pulling out of these cities. Quietly canceling projects, moving headquarters, and telling their accountants, “Get me the hell out of here.” But it’s not “capital flight,” it’s just “misunderstood economics,” right?
So let’s ask the real question:
What successful country ever thrived on weak borders, race-based hiring, and anti-business ideology?
Go ahead, I’ll wait.
Sweden? Burning.
France? Riots.
Canada? Drowning in debt and healthcare waitlists.
UK? Stuck in bureaucratic hell.
Venezuela? Don’t even ask.
Meanwhile countries like Hungary, Poland, Israel, Singapore — the ones that say “No thanks” to woke nonsense — are stable, nationalistic, and not imploding.
But sure, let’s try socialism again, because this time… we’ll do it better.
By 2029? Don’t be surprised if half the country is unemployed, the other half is angry, and Gavin Newsom is giving State of the Union speeches from behind 17 teleprompters about how "equity is strength" while the dollar is worth half a banana.
But hey — at least we’ll all be equally broke.