Gas Prices Are Falling. My Wallet Must Be Stuck in Traffic.
Oh, praise the heavens and cue the victory parade! According to the New York Times, Fox News, The Guardian, and the rest of the usual suspects, everything is basically fixed now.
The average price of U.S. gasoline has tumbled all the way down to just under $4 a gallon on Thursday the first time it’s dipped that low since March. This miraculous drop, sources whisper breathlessly, follows a preliminary agreement between the U.S. and Iran to end the war and reopen the Strait of Hormuz.
Wow. What groundbreaking, wallet warming news. If only my actual bank account would get the memo.
Sure, this offers some relief to drivers who watched prices skyrocket during Washington’s latest adventure in the Middle East. But let’s be real: filling up is still noticeably more painful than it was before this whole conflict kicked off. Translation for the folks in the back: gas is slightly less insane, but your wallet is still in the ICU and will be there for a while. Don’t expect it to sit up and smile anytime soon.
And because one glowing headline is never enough, here comes the full media choir with the fine print:
According to the motor club AAA, the current national average for regular gasoline sits at a triumphant $3.999 the lowest it’s been in months. This welcome decline tracks with falling crude oil prices and cautious optimism around that shiny new U.S. Iran deal.
Oil and gas unlikely to return to prewar prices for months even if Hormuz reopens. Read more (and weep quietly).
Yet somehow, American drivers are still shelling out roughly $1 more per gallon than they were before the U.S. teamed up with Israel to bomb Iran back in February. Prices are also running about 25% higher than they were just a year ago which is fantastic news for household budgets everywhere, assuming your household enjoys financial self-flagellation.
Look, I don’t know about you, but when my president jets around the world dropping expensive fireworks and creating fresh chaos, I expect a pirate’s haul in return: gold, silver, and especially oil so cheap it basically pumps itself.
Somebody wake me up when we actually see gas under two bucks. Until then, this “victory” feels about as satisfying as a participation trophy soaked in premium unleaded.